- Alan, get up! - What?
- We need you, now! - What is it?
Get suited up and join me in Thunderbird 1.
- We have a situation. - Huh?
Five, four...
Three, two...
One...
Has The Hood redirected a comet toward the Earth?
An underground earthquake in the Tokyo subway system? Oh...
A fusion reactor about to melt in, I'm guessing here, Belgium?
- Bigger than all of those things. - Huh?
This is our situation? Lady Penelope's house?
Hello, Halan.
The time has come for you to learn to drive.
Five...
Four...
Three...
Two...
One.
Thunderbirds Are Go!
Oh, driving lessons? Are you serious?
Oh, yes, Mr Halan, sir.
I've taught all the Tracy brothers to drive
and your father and all his brothers before them.
And his father and all his...
Oh, no, wait a minute. I'm not quite that hold.
Great, Parker.
Hey, do you teach parking? Ha-ha.
No lip at Parker's Motoring School, if you please, Mr Halan, sir.
Hello, Alan.
Now, Parker, remember what we talked about.
No teaching him any of the old tricks from your misspent youth.
No fast getaways, evasive manoeuvres...
Hey, that sounds awesome.
M'lady is right. It wouldn't be happropriate.
I'll be sticking to the fundamentals.
By the way, Parker, Lady Sylvia is coming for tea this afternoon.
Your great haunt, ma'am?
Lady Sylvia Creighton-Ward?
Coming for tea?
Yes, Parker. You know, that drink we pour out of pots and cups.
Actually, this could be fun. So, what kind of fundamentals are you talking about?
How to fly Fab One? Deploying the smoke screen canister?
- Oh, the oil-slick dispenser? - Oh, no.
Nobody drives Fab One hexcept me.
You see, at the Parker School of Motoring, Mr Halan, sir,
hall pupils learn in the same car.
What..is... that?
This is Fab Zero.
And it's been in the family since before you were born.
Uh-uh. No way am I getting into that thing. It's practically an antique.
What was good enough for your brothers is good enough for you, Mr Halan, sir.
And I happen to like hantiques. Lady Sylvia, for example.
- Excuse me? - Nothing.
Now, then, honto the fundamentals.
How to hopen the door.
How to shut the door.
How to doff your cap.
And now the most fundamental fundamental,
how to haddress your passenger.
- This needs a lot of practice. Hall right? - Yes, all right.
So, where are we hoff to today, Tracy?
- I dunno. London? - Jolly good.
Hi imagine hi'll be meeting Baron and Baroness Hi-Falutin',
and their cousin Cecilia von Posh-Face.
Hold the door open for me, there's a good lad.
Thank you so much, Tracy.
Very good, Parker. Beautiful deportment.
But if you're going to be playing me, you may as well go the whole dog.
You know, for authenticity's sake.
Yes... m'lady.
So, of course, the speed limit on hour grounds
for a learner driver is four miles an hour and...
Do be ready to brake.
- That's the middle pedal. - So we can throw off someone tailing us?
In case a stray hanimal runs across your path.
Oh, yeah, there's that.
Great Aunt Sylvia, how lovely to see you. How are you?
- How's Uncle Langley and how's little... - Yes, yes, all good.
- So, let's talk tea, shall we? - Yes, let's.
The finest Assam blend sourced directly from India
from these amazing organic tea pickers who...
Yes, yes. Lovely, I'm sure.
I suppose we could have a cup before we get down to business.
Business? Aunt Sylvia, I thought you were here for tea?
Precisely. So, tell me, Penelope,
what's been keeping you busy these days? Anything exciting?
Oh, yes, travel, social occasions.
Last week Ascot, next week Wimbledon.
Life never stops for a... Lady of leisure.
Are you sure that's all you do, Penelope?
Well... Well, you know, there's the charity work and...
More tea, Aunt Sylvia?
When do we get to the good stuff? You know, the real driving?
Safety first, Mr Halan, sir.
Couldn't you at least show me some bodyguard moves?
That's part of being a chauffeur, isn't it? Security? Protecting your passenger?
It is, but we don't have to worry about that now.
Only a fool of a criminal would try something at the Creighton-Ward hestate.
Here, Terry, has the driver gone out?
He has, Bill. With that young geezer.
So that means no-one is guarding the house.
Splendid.
Well, what do you say we have a look at that tea now?
- It's been so long. - Another one?
Aunt Sylvia, you've had five cups.
Oh, I think we've run dry. I'll go and have a look in the kitchen.
- You keep the tea in the kitchen? - Where else would it be?
- Aunt Sylvia, are you feeling all right? - Yes, yes, never better.
All right, never mind the tea for the moment.
Sit down and tell me more about this exciting life of yours.
Well, to be truthful, it's not all that exciting.
Very little happens round here. It can get a bit...
...Boring...?
Hello, ladies!
I do apologise about the window.
Well, this is rather distressing.
So, where's the treasure?
- What treasure? - Don't call it treasure.
- We're not pirates. - Well, what would you call it?
Well, er... valuable... stuff.
Oh, that sounds rubbish. Where's the "valuable stuff"?
- You see, not frightening. - It is if you say it frighteningly.
Where is the valuable stuff?
They don't look frightened.
- Ooh, what does that mean? - That Lady Penelope is in trouble.
- What shall we do? - Get back to the house.
- No, let me do it. - Sorry, sir, this is an emergency.
I can do this. It's only back to the house.
No!
What about just "valuables"? Forget the "stuff"?
- Yeah, I suppose. - Where are your valuables?
- Still think "treasure" sounds better. - Look, I hardly have any valuables.
You know what the aristocracy are like these days. We're not actually that rich.
What you can see around you is all that I have.
It's not like I keep loads of things hidden away in secret places in the manor.
I say, Penelope, I didn't realise you had a copy of Lord Cuthbert's autobiography.
I thought all the copies were pulped after the scandal.
- Now is not the time. - Sorry, Penelope.
What were you saying?
Sorry, sorry.
Never mind that now.
We have to get back and help Lady Penelope.
- OK, what do I do? - Right, well...
You see that button on the dashboard? Below the red flashing light? Press that.
OK.
- Cool. - Good.
Now use the rotor joystick to direct them round.
All right. Just a... yeah.
Great.
OK, you were right, I can't drive this thing.
Take the wheel, Parker. Let's get back and help Lady Penelope as fast as possible.
Yes, sir, I would, only I think I just broke my harm.
Or rather, you just broke my harm, Mr Halan, sir.
Sorry...?
I can assure you there is no treasure.
Er, valuables.
This is just where we keep the... spare bust of Lord Cuthbert.
Which we need now after you threw the other one through the window.
Anyway, that's all that's here. Nothing worth stealing.
I must say, it's a very good likeness, isn't it?
Aunt Sylvia!
You could have found a better place for a hidden safe, don't you think?
Well, OK, look, I know I've said this sort of thing a lot already
but I really don't know how to get into that safe.
'Creighton-Ward DNA match.'
Unless, of course, it recognises a member of my family
via a biometric scan of their DNA, which... which it turns out it has.
- Treasure! - Valuables!
Either way, something what's worth a lot of money!
Ah, there's the tea.
A teapot?
Can't you go any faster? Never mind all your safety stuff.
- Lady Penelope's in trouble. - Sorry. I can't.
My harm hurts too much.
Oh, we're so slow. It's painful.
Oh, I agree with you there.
Right, well, gentlemen,
as you can see, there is indeed, as my great niece told you,
nothing of value to you here.
So, if I were you, I would make tracks.
Otherwise my husband Lord Creighton-Ward will have his people after you.
People? What people?
We have a number of security working for us.
Plus our usual staff, who could be recruited to help the search, of course.
Not to mention his assistant, his butler, his dog handler...
So... would you say your husband is a rich man?
- Er, Aunt Sylvia... - Goodness, yes.
- Filthy rich. Absolutely loaded. - Not really. They make do, you know.
Don't be absurd, Penelope. He's the fourth richest man in Europe.
- Oh. - Oh, dear.
Bill, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
I hope not, Terry. As you are stupider than a bag of rocks.
However, ladies, there's been a change of plan.
- You are coming with us! - That's not what I was thinking.
- They've been robbed. - Right, in the car.
It's worse than that, Mr Halan, sir.
Where's the key bit? How do you start it?
Oh, I'm so sorry. You really need to speak to Parker.
Where can he be?
This is a dumb idea, Mr Cleverer-than-a-bag-of-rocks man.
Well, how else are we gonna get away with 'em?
I didn't bring a spare people carrier.
Well, it was your idea to change the plan and not just get the treasure!
Valuables! And there weren't any! That's why we had to kidnap them!
- Oi, you! - No, push that.
I am.
No-one steals Fab One.
Now you'll realise, you burglar chappies, that you've met your...
...Match.
Oh, dear, Mr Halan, sir, that's done me harm in again.
- I'm in no shape for a chase. - You mean...?
You'll have to take the wheel.
F-A-B, Parker.
Stay on his tail. Don't let him get away.
Can't you go any faster?
I still can't figure this thing out.
I say... Bill, is it?
- Bill? Or are you Terry? - It's Bill... m'lady.
- Here, why'd you say that? - I dunno. Just felt right.
Right, Bill, do you actually know how to drive?
Of course I don't know how to drive.
It's 2060. Nobody drives any more... m'lady.
Parker does. Although something seems to be not quite right there either.
These thieves aren't too bright.
- Well, that's good news. - No, that's terrible news!
Fab One in the wrong hands is a very dangerous thing.
Press that one.
Well, that slowed them down.
What does this do?
Now that we've got them in the car,
it would be a good time for the tea, don't you think?
Aunt Sylvia, I hardly think this is the time for tea.
Whatever you think.
- Shall I try and smash into them? - No! Habsolutely not!
OK, I could jump out, run the car down, open the door
and wrestle the kidnappers to the ground.
Not if the outer skin has been electrified.
It can do that? Cool.
We'll just have to cut them off. Speed up.
OK!
Bill, I'm getting dizzy.
- Get us out of here! - I'm trying. I'm trying!
Now?
- The tea? - Of course.
Hokay, here's the plan.
Keep following them until help arrives.
- Oh. - Really cool.
No! A fall would be disastrous.
Stop crying, Terry!
Don't worry, Parker.
We won't let anything happen to Lady Penelope and Great Aunt Sylvia.
Oh, yes, them, too.
- Which button is it, Parker? - Just hunder the steering wheel, sir.
I may have just learned how to drive but I've been flying all my life.
This has just turned from a car chase into a rescue.
Let me out!
Ladies first.
- Make sure you look after this, dear. - Yes, all right, Aunt Sylvia.
Just twist the top of the pot, if needs be. Tea does always help in a crisis.
I have this, dear.
The roof is giving way. I'll have to try something else.
The weight distribution is all off. Hang on, this is gonna take us for a spin.
Parker, what's that flashing light mean?
Teensy thing I didn't tell you about driving Fab Zero.
She runs on petrol.
Ah. She just ran out.
The tea, Penelope, the tea.
That was certainly unexpected.
Oh, thank the stars! She's hall right!
She's hall right...
I got it, Parker. You're talking about Fab One.
Well, not just Fab One, I hope, Parker.
I told you we should have gone for the treasure.
The teapot was the treasure, you idiot.
Well, I can't tell people that in prison, can I?
That sounds stupid. "What are you in for this time?"
"I was trying to nick a teapot."
- My goodness, Aunt Sylvia, what is that? - Oh, Penelope, I thought you knew.
It's TEA.
Targeted Electromagnetic Actuator.
It creates a force field around itself to a radius of 500 metres.
Very powerful. That was what I was coming to see you about.
Not actually for tea... with sugar and milk.
Anyway, must be off. Bring the car round, will you, Parker?
I would love to hoblige, m'lady, but my harm, you see...
- Hey, Alan, how was your driving lesson? - It went very well.
In fact, I think Mr Halan might demonstrate by dropping Lady Sylvia at the station.
Not that car, Mr Halan, sir.
You mean... I get to drive Fab One?
Halan, sir.
Wow. Even I didn't get to drive Fab One.
Well, Halan passed his driving test with... ahem...
Flying colours.
Uh, OK.
Well, meanwhile I can sure go for some tea, Lady Penelope.
We might have had enough tea for today, I think.
Alan, my train, it does leave in five minutes.
- So, if you wouldn't mind? - Right you are... m'lady.
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